Chronicles Of High School Dirty Little Secrets The Broom Closet Chapter 26"He didn't tell you?" pagtaas ng kilay ni Mecky, she looked surprised. I was speechless. I thought it must be another stupid rumor, but this bohemian/country girl seemed to know what she was talking about.
"Tell me what?"
She was taken aback, seemingly unsure if she'll talk or not. "I don't.. I don't think I should tell you."
"It's your thing."
"My thing? What's my thing?"
"You and him. I mean sure, you tell me your secret. And I like I said, wala akong pagsasabahin. I'm not one to reveal anyone's secret."
"Like his secret?
"You're with him, ask him."
"So you'll just keep it from me na lang, whatever it is you know?"
"No! I mean, well, tsk. I learned something about him."
Ramdam ko ang init sa katawan ko dahil sa beer, pero tila may iba pang init sabay sa kaba dahil sa maari kong matuklasan sa sasabihin ni Mecky. I have long felt that there was so much more about Teacher Kim that I know nothing about. We've talked about our lives on several occassions, but when he does, I feel like there were missing parts.
"What is it?" pilit ko. Batid kong alangan talaga si Mecky ikwento, "please?"
"Well, I learned that he fathered a few children with.. different girls back home. That, his recent return to UK was about, something, like one of his children's mother died, so the kid was parentless, and had no one else, or something. And did you know he was married?"
It completely blew my mind, I thought this can't be real. It didn't seem like Teacher Kim, it can't be. "Yea, that he was married. How.. how did you know that?"
"Err, well, don't ask, I don't think I can ever tell. But.. it's, uhm, I trust it. It wouldn't make sense to be a lie, or - and, it's not a rumor. I learned it from someone who knows."
"Wow. Just, wow."
Pakiramdam ko puro hangin yung laman ng tyan ko, pati utak ko puro hangin na rin. Gusto kong humiga, hindi ako makapaniwala. Inubos ko ang higit pa sa kalahating laman ng beer sa isang inuman.
"What the fuck?" 'di ko napigilang sambit.
Biglang napalingon si Mecky. "Wow. That's, wow. Since when ka pa nagmura?"
"Few children from different girls?!"
Umangat lang ang balikat ni Mecky, at ngumiwi ang ekspresyon niya.
"That's.. that's, fucked!" pagasim ng ekspresyon ko.
"You should talk to him. Kung seryoso na talaga kayo, you should know the truth."
"Fuck me! the -- "
"Owkey! Whoever this is. So, nagmumura ka pala kapag nakainom. Tubig na lang tayo. Ok? Nakakadalawang bote ka pa lang ah, lasing ka na? It's just beer."
Lumipat kami sa malapit na table booth. Tinawag ni Mecky si Beks to order some food, non-alcoholic drinks, at tubig na may madaming-madaming yelo.
Mecky told me few more things of what she learned about Teacher Kim. Nanikip ang dibdib ko, mas marami pa siyang alam kaysa sa'kin. Parang gusto kong tusukin ang mga mata ng sinungaling kong boyfriend at tusukin ng maraming karayum ang ari niya.
Nahimasmasan rin ako kalaunan ng nakakain ako. Sa restaurant na ako sinundo ni kuya Jael who was incognizant that I was a bit tipsy.
The rest of the weekend, I ignored Teacher Kim's calls and text messages. He got pissed that I didn't see him in the dungeon last Friday since of course, I found out he lied. But then, he later apologized for getting pissed and begged that I answer his calls.
I was grumpy and moody at home. Akala nila kuya it was that time of the month again, they have no sense at all of how it really works. Kapag nagsusungit ako ng walang dahilan, umiiwas na lang sila at dinadalhan ako ng mga paborito kong pagkain sa kwarto. Sometimes, I would intentionally do it on several weekends, so they thought I had a period every weekend on some months, and they would stock ice cream and chocolates in the fridge. Stupid, but funny.
Come Monday, it was a school holiday but only for our campus. It was Principal Moon's birthday. I don't know how he gets away with it, but he has made it official since he started as a Principal na tuwing birthday niya, walang pasok. Treat na raw niya 'yon sa mga estudyante to have it as a day off.
It was another rainy day. The sky wasn't all that dark, but it has been raining almost non-stop since morning. It wasn't a heavy rain, neither was there a storm. But it was enough to get me drenched if I come out, and also enough to give me the feels ng pagka-emo.
The big box of pizza and a bucket of jollibee chickenjoy that kuya Jako and kuya Jael brought me made the day beautifully sad. With all the confusion going on inside my head, there I was feasting on all the calories I could indulge.
I was about to open my laptop for netflix nang sunod-sunod na tumunog ang cellphone ko. I saw text notifications on my home screen from Teacher Kim:
Text#1 - I'm outside, see your window;
Text#2 - You are driving me crazy;
Text#3 - I'm sorry love, please see me;
Text#4 - Why don't you answer my calls???;
Text#5 - If I did something wrong, I apologise;
Text#6 - What the fuck is wrong?!;
Text#7 - You can't just ignore me, you have to tell me;
Text#8 - Come out, will go to my place. Let's talk;
Text#9 - I love you, love. You know that right?;
Text#10 - I will not leave until you're with me. I'll wait until I die. Are you gonna let me die here? You don't love me anymore? Come out Ce...
Oh, what a drama queen!
I unlocked my phone and hit call on his number. I looked at the window and saw him inside his car, in a hoodie.
"Hello, love. I'm -- "
"I never thought you could be such a drama queen."
"Well, I have quite a bit of that royal blood in me."
I had one look in his smile and I melted. Buong sabado at linggo kong hindi pinansin ang mga text at tawag niya pero sa loob-loob ko, parang madiing tinatapakan ang puso ko, at paa ko pa ang nakatapak.
"Come with me, love. I don't know what I did wrong, but I apologise for it, whatever it is. Just don't be mad at me, please?"
Naginit naman ang dibdib ko sa lambing ng boses niya.
Shit! I am so inlove with him.
"Well, I am really really mad. I am so mad at you!" Not a word that I meant. Nanigas lang ang panga ko.
"I know.. I love you."
Nanlambot na naman ang mga tuhod ko, pero aktong masungit pa rin. "Really? Why should I believe you?"
Nangasim ang mukha ni Teacher Kim. "What are y -- what are you saying? Wha-what's up with you, Cece? What is wrong? What have I done? Tell me."
"I'll see you tomorrow -- "
"We-www-wait! No! Come out now, or I'll come and get you."
"Oh, don't test me, Cece. I told you, I'll do anything for you."
Kinabahan ako bigla ng bumukas ang pinto niya at lumabas siya. Tumayo siya sa labas ng nakabukas niyang pinto, unti-unting nababasa sa ulan while staring at me intently with all the seriousness in his face, his hand and his phone still on his ear.
He raised his brows, like he was daring me. I conceded and shook my head. "I'm coming. Get back inside the car."
I realised, I have a love and hate feeling when I surrender to his commands. I don't know why pero parang napakadali lang sa'kin na sumunod agad sa kaniya. But I also have this part of me that wants to defy him, to do the complete opposite of his expectations of me.
Hindi naman naging mahirap ang pagpapaalam ko sa mga kuya ko. I told them, I'm going to Mecky's place. I know they trust Mecky at puro aral lang naman kami, so hindi na sila matanong pa. I also told them, I have a grab car to pick me up, which of course, was Teacher Kim.
Tensyonado ang buong drive namin papunta sa penthouse ng basang boyfriend ko. I could just sense him, like he wanted to ravage me and eat me alive. But I kept my maldita drama. Not a sound did I let out from me. The air in the car was pure cold and empty.
I've never been like this. Paminsang naiisip ko, habang nakadungaw sa maulang kalsadang dinadaanan namin, kailan nga ba ako nagbago ng ganito - yung magsungit, magtaray, magmatigas.
I sighed pagkadating namin sa parking lot ng condo niya. I knew what was going to happen, we're just gonna have sex and he's going to dodge any signs of deeper, serious conversations.
"I can open my door," pataray kong sambit.
"Ok. Let's get to the lift then, quick," he answered in a defensive tone.
Nauna akong maglakad papunta sa rows of elevators. Pinindot ko ang button paakyat ng isa sa mga pinto nito, pero sumunod pumindot naman si Teacher Kim sa isa pang pinto na siyang lagi namin sinasakyan. Saka ko lang napagtanto na may sarili palang elevator ang penthouse niya from the parking lot.
He inhaled deep when we got in to the elevator. "Please talk. You're killing me."
"I don't know what to say yet."
"Just.. tell me you love me."
I laughed sly. "How convenient."
"Christ, Cece! What's the matter with you?"
Napaisip ako bigla, I glanced at him, narrowing my eyes. "You have never been ignored, haven't you? You're used to girls that just willingly surrender themselves at you. That is why you are so pissed."
His jaw clenched, he looked even more pissed and uncomfortable. I laughed sly again, and shook my head.
"I am not one to read a girl's behaviour. Either you tell me or you don't. I was never interested with all the mystery that all woman try to fake. Not, until you, of course. You drive me crazy."
"You read me when I was drooling over you. Now, you don't that I'm angry. You like girls when they are obsessed with you, but when they confuse you, you turn into a drama queen. It is likely you just ignored all of the girls when they start to confuse you, and like, left them, shut them out. And -- "
"I'm going to fuck you so hard, and fucking deep, Cece, you're gonna cry. Call me a drama queen again and you'll see the result of what you're doing to me."
"Ah, the dirty talk. Of course, always works right?"
I glanced at him again with my one brow raised, then I stepped out of the elevator. He followed, but in shrieking swiftness, he pulled my waist to him with one arm. With such fluid briskness, but with a bit of tenderness, I was turned and pushed against the elevator wall.
I was caught of-guard, breathing heavily. I swallowed at the intensity of our position. With his one arm leaned against the wall, his other hand was on my waist, I was trapped in his powerful might and imprisoned in his intoxicating scent. Saka ko lang napagtanto ulit, he was still wet from the rain, and weirdly enough, wearing a hoodie.
"You, my little one, let's get one thing straight. If you drive me crazy, I will fuck you like crazy and you are going to scream so hard. But drive me even crazier, and you'll wish massively bad that you didn't."
"Are you threatening me now?"
"No, my love. I'm just telling you. Now a threat is, if you don't tell me what's wrong now, I am going to fuck you wild without mercy, you won't be able to walk for a week."
I don't know where I was getting the nerve to stay undefeated; I raised my brows, shook my head and pushed him.
"That's all you do, fuck. How about tell me the truth, and stop lying to me?" I pushed him hard and walked out, but I had a glimpsed of his stupefied expression. I was no longer pissed, I was celebrating for my new found strength and boldness. I sat in the grandest sofa in his living room; I've never sat in his living room, but there I was, in the middle of all the grandeur and opulence of the room, sitting confident with my legs crossed.
"You are really something, Cece."
"What truth? What am I lying about?"
"Really? Ask me? Like you don't know at all?"
His face turned stern. "Let's not be high school about it now, Cece. What is it?"
"Your children? Multiple women you impregnated? Your dad in jail? And... about your mom?"
His eyes flinched when I mentioned his mom. His expression darkened, no longer the naughty Teacher Kim. I sensed his aura turned gray. I felt uncomfortable myself too.
"What about them?"
"Wha -- Really? You lied! And you act now, as if, it was all ok?! Don't I deserve to know the truth?"
"Where are you getting all this?"
Natameme ako saglit, I didn't really know how Mecky got those informations. But then his glinted to something, like he figured out who, and it convinced me that they were truth.
His lips pressed. "I didn't lie. I just omitted a few details."
"Ha! Wow. Err, ok. All clear now. Brilliant! That's what you say, 'di ba?" Tumayo ako, "you know what, I'm going home. So, no, you're not gonna fuck me so hard and so deep today. It's my pussy, I decide when you can fuck it!"
I walked out but he grabbed my wrist and pulled me to him. "Cece, don't go," he pleaded with a deep sighed.
"I was so stupid to believe you are for real. That, this is real! And not some pathetic high school little fantasy romance. My mom was right, lahat nga talaga ng first love, katangahan!"
"Cece.. I -- "
I was able to release my wrist from his hold, attempted to walk-out again but he quickly grabbed my wrist again. "Cece, let's handle this. Don't... go."
His expression turned a bit dull, like he's saying I was being silly. I sighed, "ok. I'll try to be less of the naive pathetic little teenager. Explain."
"I didn't tell you because I was.. scared."
"Scared?! You? You are Teacher Kim! You created your little pleasure dungeon inside our school! And.. fucked, who knows how many, other dumb high school girls like me and -- "
"It is because of the way you look at me," his voice rose but not angry, his eyes even more penetrating and pleading, I froze.
"Cece, you look at me like I am.. perfect, like I am this, I don't know, Greek God gifted to mankind. Like I am all you've ever dreamed of, all you'll ever want. But I am not perfect, Cece. I told you before, there are things in my life that I am not proud of. Our relationship is complicated enough, and I don't want to add the complications of my life to it. We're both still finding ourselves in this relationship. You're young, Cece, very young. There are many things you have not experienced yet, and I don't want to add situations that you may not know how to handle yet. I.. I was, I don't want to lose that spark in your eyes. I don't want to lose you."
I was dumbstruck. I felt stupid. His tone was serious, like I just got schooled. Suddenly, everything turned serious, like I've only realised it now. That this was not just some pathetic little high school romance drama. I was the high school, doing the drama. But this was.. adult.
"You still omitted.. very important details, Christopher," I calmed.
"I know. And I apologize for that. I don't want to lie to you, Cece. I still don't think I did."
I went back to the sofa I was sitting earlier and sat. I took a deep breath and looked at Teacher Kim standing in front of me. He looked relieved, but his expression still gloomy.
"I want to know now. I'm maybe inexperienced, but don't deprive me of having one. You are my first, if you are also going to be my last, I want to have it all. I will never know how to handle it, until you let me."
It was subtle but I see his chest rose, he took a deep breath and took his time to exhale. He sat opposite me. With obvious hesitation, he started to tell the story of the great mystery of Teacher Kim.
I was dumbfounded, speechless, but inlove with him even more. It didn't matter if he fathered six children from five different women that he divirginized, or that he was still married to a woman he only lived with for the first six months of their marriage, or that he played and fooled and had sex with too many girls to count or even remember, mostly as young as I was, in his past.
As he was telling me his story, I was accepting, like I understood him. He was not a faultless greek god after all, and I wanted him even more for that. He became more human, real, not the fantasy, but the one I could love for the rest of my life.
It was obvious he was very uncomfortable talking about his parents, but I felt that he wanted to tell me everything, that he wanted me to know more about him. "I know I was wrong following my dad's mistakes. I thought, if he can fuck as many girls as he wants and as young as he wants, so can I. So I did. Then, I realised I was hurting my mum too, as much as dad did."
"Wasn't your dad a university professor?"
"That's why I became a high school teacher. I went younger."
"But you didn't stop when you got here."
"It became a hard habit to break. My mum is not here, she doesn't know. I feel guilty sometimes, but I guess, I am always my father's son."
"You don't have to be like him."
He smiled. "I try. I thought, with my inheritance from my granddad and a new place, new country, I could be better, do better. I didn't, until you. It used to be hard for me to think to want just one girl for me. And then.. you. You happened. Now, I couldn't think, what it'd be like without you. You'll all I ever want, I'll ever need. We are wrong for a lot of reasons, possibly every reasons, but I guess I don't care anymore. You know, I told mum about you."
"Yea. The first time I saw you was my first day in your school. You were sat on the steps at the entrance of the main building. You looked, awed, yes, like you just saw a greek god walk by. Since then, I've always took noticed of you, despite, you shying away whenever we cross path. I thought, you were the one girl I will never touch. You are so pure, like an angel. I liked you, but I wanted to keep you as pure as you are. Until that first day in class, with you fidgeting and looking uncomfortably horny, you started driving me crazy. You were something I'd never imagine you to be. And then, I fell in love with you."
I smiled, shy, pursed my lips on one side. I looked into his eyes, I could feel his love, but I also saw things I've never really seen before - pain, sadness, regrets and fear. The wall was down.
"Uhm, your... mom. What, happened? Is it true?"
His eyes flinched. I suddenly wanted to take my question back and not make him anymore uncomfortable, but it was too late. "That she's in a mental institution now?"
I lowered my head but kept my eyes into his. I started biting my lip lightly.
"My mum suffered a great pain. She's not crazy or anything, but she needed the mental help. My dad never hurt her physically, but the emotional abuse that she had was massively more devastating. Granddad.. Octavo sort of lost himself when gran died; my mom, so young, was left in Scotland with her mom's sister, feeling alone, fatherless. Her aunt adopted her that's why she became a Cawkwell. When she married dad, Octavo didn't approved so he sort of disowned her. When she got divorced, he disowned her even more. She had to take care of all the four of us, her children, on her own especially when dad got jailed. It was a painful journey, she was never the same. Until she broke."
I was all ears and every hair in my body was onto his story. It was hard to imagine the Teacher Kim, the young Christopher, before he was a greek god to me. But one thing was clear, I was inlove with him even more.
"Mum's ok now. She's not really in a place where, you know, she's not with patients of extreme mental conditions. It's a specialised care center for, like mum, who went through some emotional and mental pain, also depression you could say. It is a very pleasant environment. Although, she was cleared by her doctors, she decided to stay. She's volunteering there now, helping those who went through the same as hers."
It felt heavy to hear, but I was glad that he smiled. Hindi ko na napigilan ang sarili ko at tumayo ako't inakap siya ng mahigpit.
"Hey. It's ok. Don't be sad now."
"I'm sorry. I was acting like a high school teenager."
"You are a high school teenager."
I smiled habang nakaupo ako sa binti niya. Then I looked at his face and I kissed him. Dama ko ang pagkasabik niya sa tugon niyang halik din sa akin.
"So... can I fuck you now?"
"Ikaw! Is that all you -- "
"I was kidding. The truth is, I just.. I just want to love you."
Habang bumabaha na ang kalakhang maynila, naging doble naman ang init ng pagtatalik namin sa kama ni Teacher Kim. He was gentle and romantic with his kisses and caress as he carried me from the living room to his studio/master's bedroom.
In bed, he started by trailing teasing and tingling kisses from my toe, my ankles, my legs, under my knees, then up my inner thighs. He pulled my panties in the most evocative way and gaped at my entrance.
He skipped my pussy, which made me ached, then he continued his kisses from the visible bone of my pelvis, to the sides and curve of my waist, up to my breasts and he sucked my nipples with the gentle seduction of his tongue.
I moaned. Yung pagtitikis ko kay Teacher Kim buong weekend tila ba lumabas sa malayang pagkibot ng aking hiwa. Para akong nakagapos ng dalawang araw, at bigla akong napalaya ng mga halik, sipsip at higop ni Teacher Kim sa suso at utong ko.
His kisses continued trailing up to my collar bone, to the sides of my neck, then my throat, chin, jaw, ears, cheeks, nose, then my lips. I felt every kiss, it was hot and the sound was arousing.
After a long fluid, romantic kiss, he rose up, napaungol ako sa pagkabitin. I opened my eyes and saw his gaping eyes again at my entrance. He trailed his thumb on the lips of my pussy, leaned down, took a big whiff of it, then a ravaging kiss and sucking. Sa isang bagsak ng sarap, he pulled out again, I cried.
"I want you to have all of me, Cece."
"I want that too."
Hinubad niya ang pantalon niya at tumambad na nga ang naghuhumindik sa galit na gahalimaw niyang ari. Ibunuka niya pa lalo ang dalawa kong hita at dumapa siya muli sa akin.
Walang katulad na sarap sa pakiramdam ang pagdidikit ng aming dalawang nagiinit na katawan. We were tight, dikit kung dikit talaga, I could just feel his weight on top me but I had no complains.
Not only his kisses were all consumming, his hands were also masterful. They moved with a skillful mix of romance, desire, and yearning. I could feel how much he wanted me.
Napatingkayad ako sa ulo at napaiyak sa ungol nang maramdaman kong pumasok na sa butas ko ang katigasan ng ari ni Teacher Kim. It was again, a familiar slicing pain of pleasure.
But unlike the usual first entry, he was gentle this time, his first few thrusts were fluid, sabay sa sarap ng mga halik niya at init ng mga lamas niya. All I could think of was how much I love him.
"I love you, Cece," bulong niya sabay sa paglabas-pasok ng ari niya sa butas ko.
Nasanay na ako sa sakit, na tila ba napupunit at banat-banat ang loob ng butas ko sa taba ng ari ng prince charming ko. Dama ko rin ang pagkasagad niya sa loob ko, na buong-buo niyang naiidiin sa akin ang kahabaan niya.
Mahigpit ang kapit ko sa mga braso niya, sa balikat niya, sa likod niya, sa bawat labas-pasok niya sa loob ko. I just wanted him to go deeper, and even deeper. But he remained gentle, like the first time we made love.
"I love you, Cece," bulong ulit niya habang unti-unti na siyang bumibilis.
Unlike his usual style, hindi siya nagpaiba-iba ng posisyon. He was subtle, simple, it was just our body mating, turning into one. Sa pagbalot ng init sa buo kong katawan, ramdam kong malapit na akong labasan.
"Yes, don't stop. Please."
"Cum for me, Cece."
It was good that I cut my nails short, dahil sa diin ng mga daliri ko sa braso, balikat at likod niya, masusugat na kalmot na sana ang inabot niya. Mas madiin na rin ang mga lamas niya, ang mga halik niya; his thrusts remained gentle and fluid but he was gaining speed, may tunog na rin ang hampas ng itlog niya sa ilalim ko.
"I'm cumming, Christo -- Ahmhh! Yes! Ah! Don't stop, mhmhmmm! Ah!"
Nahapo ako sa paghinga, I was like a balloon filled with so much water then it exploded. Naramdaman ko na lang, may luhang tumulo sa tagiliran ng pisngi ko. I was purely lost in love.
"I love you, Cece," bulong ulit niya habang patuloy lang sa bilis ang paglabas-pasok niya sa loob ko.
I don't know how long he's been in and out of me. Tila ba hindi siya nagsasawa sa mga madidiing halik niya sa'kin, sa lambing ng mga lamas niya; tila ba hindi siya napapagod sa pagtaas-baba ng baywang niya. I came again, and then another for the third time. Despite the airconditioning, ramdam ko sa palad ko na may dulas na ng pawis sa katawan niya.
"I love you," bulong ulit niya, pero ramdam kong may dumagdag sa bilis at diin ng paglabas-pasok niya sa loob ko.
There were words in my head wanting to respond to him, pero sa tindi ng sarap na bumabalot sa'kin, hindi na ako makapagsalita. Ungol na lang ang namutawing ingay mula sa'kin.
Umangat ang katawan niya at bumilis pa siya lalo. Ramdam kong may tensyon na sa mga braso niya at mga halik niya, tanda na lalabasan na rin siya.
And then he came. He growled, moaned, breathed heavily, and growled again. Sinabayan ko ng madidiing ungol ang pagtatapos niya, dama ko ang pagpulso ng ari niya sa bawat putok niya. I was quite surprised dahil usually, he talks dirty. But this time, I felt from his expression at ang diin ng katawan niya sa'kin, kung gaano niya ako kamahal.
Then, he slowed down and rested on top me, his penis still inside me. I hugged him as tight as I can, I just didn't want him to pull out. I wanted him to remain inside me, forever if possible. I ignored the fact the he started and finished without a condom, he stopped wearing one for some time already, but he always pulls out.
"Cece," bulong niya.
"I came inside you," he said, apprehensive.
"I love you too," I whispered, inlove.